Psyche's Journal

Bet you didn't expect it...

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 22:46:07 GMT

I felt compelled to do an update on my life. By the way, this is a very old layout. I'd love to get a new one. But I don't know if I should bother since I don't really pay enough attention to my blog anyways.

First of all, I'm pretty much over Degrassi. I only tune in out of curiosity now. All of my favorite characters were tarnished last season, and now they are not(or barely) going to be in the new season. Don't care for any of these new kids. Oh well, I'm not bummed out on my obsession going down. Actually, it's a relief. My love affair with this show has been going on for five years, and it was sort of holding me back from focusing on my real life and how to make it better. Then again, I have sort of just replaced that obsession with a new one(The beautiful and talented MR MICHAEL JOHNS!). But it still has been easier to put the more important aspects of my life, first. Starting with....

June of 2007, the last time I finished a semester at my local college. I just finished taking all of the scriptwriting courses required for a creative writing bachelor. I have gotten excellent grades on all of my scriptwriting, but only subpar grades in any other creative writing course. And in order to finish the program, I would have to take a bunch more classes in short fiction, journalism, and (ugh!)Poetry. Not only that, but it would take me another six freakin' years! Now I know this is how it is for most people who go to college or university. But after doing a lot of thinking, I came to the conclusion that I would just be wasting my time. I don't even know where I'd go with this. I could never be a journalist, and I have no plans to be an author either. I do, however, love scriptwriting and am very good at it. But I could never make a career out of it by just the knowledge I have learnt there. So, I made the decision not to finish the program, leave the college, and search for a good film school with a writing program. I set my sights on Vancouver Film School immediately, and got as much information as I could. But first I had to save enough money. So I asked my boss if I could work full time. Since then, I have been going Mon-Fri shifts, and have slowly gotten a raise in pay.

2008, where do I begin. First, there was the family trip to Mexico, which was WAY better than the time I went with just my mom and I stayed at my grandma's(who is now suffering from early stages of Alzheimer’s). We all stayed in this great 4 star hotel, right by the coast of Acapulco and right in the best part of the city. We were even only a three minute walk away from Paradise Bungee(which I ended up doing twice!). We could even see people jumping from out hotel window. While there, we went to the Ci Ci, where I got to swim with dolphins! We got a tour of the city, and did a bunch of other activities. Overall, it was a very nice trip(although the last week was a little stressful because my damm period started!). Later this summer, I FINALLY passed my knowledge test for my learner's. Took long enough, huh? And I was so sure I would fail again since the last time I took it was so long ago. Anyways, a paid for a few private lessons with a trainer, and can drive a small car just fine. My mom's van scares me though, because I always feel like I'm going off the road. So my dad is going to let me drive his car.

No, the biggest news of all. After over a year since making the decision, I finally filled out an application for VFS back in September, and sent in all of the other stuff required(transcript, creative writing samples...). Result? I GOT IN! This is going to be a very life changing thing for me. It's always been my dream to live in a big city, so I am so happy to be moving to Vancouver. But I am also aware that it'll be tough and a little scary, too. I have continued to put money away for living expenses, am working on getting a student loan, and just recently received a $500 grant from the Royal Canadian Legion. So everything seems to be going good so far. And my semester starts in May, so I have lots of time to prepare.

So that's about it. Thanks for reading.

Latter Days

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:24:34 GMT

The reason I'm frustrated is because I suck at writing movie reviews so if something in this review doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll try to emphasis, if possible.

This movie covered all of the basic cliched themes that have been done so many times. Aside from the whole 'forbidden love" theme which is the most popular theme done in romance movies based on homosexuals, there was the whole "bad boy makes bet to get chaste/nerdy girl(or in this case, boy)" plot. They sort of tried to mix one cliche theme with another, and because it was between two guys this time, it would come off as more "unique".

This movie had it's "Queer As Folk" moments, but I was actually expecting for Christian to be more like Brian Kinney. Instead he came off as more of an Emmett, only less funny and sweet. We're suppose to believe that because he has the most experience, he's more likely the one "on top." Aaron may be naive and new, but with a little more experience, I'd buy him as being the one on top anyday. First there's the fact that Christian has the ass of a woman, and if it weren't for his abs, he would not seem very butch. I see nothing about him that would make him the cowboy. In fact, during his like hot one-night stands he's probably always the one getting rode. But because Aaron is so "innocent" I'm sure he'll be stuck as the bottom. Whatever makes them the most comfortable.

Okay, cut to the chase. The thing that bothered me about this movie was that I found the way Christian suddenly fell in love with Aaron heavily cliched and unconvincing. The whole "bet" could have been done without. The only time the whole that plot has ever truly worked in a movie was in "Cruel Intentions." And this movie actually has a lot of parrallels to it. However, we saw a lot more of Sebastian and Annette interaction and they really got to know eachother, and Sebastian fell for Annette not only because of who she made him become, but for who she was herself. Christian pretty much falls for Aaron for the sole fact that he "opened his eyes". But I can tell you that if Christian were straight, all of the girls he went out with would have dumped him for the same reason and told him so. Overall, I didn't see any gradual pregression during Christian's "dress to impress" act for Aaron that it was transitioning from it just being about the bet to him actually falling in love. Because I highly doubt Aaron telling Christian he's 'shallow" is enough for him to go "Oh my God, he's the one for me!" The progress of their relationship was entirely rushed. And also a reminder of just how cheesy airport scenes are. And here it was cheesy as hell. However, the movie did get better by the end. I knew when I read about the movie that the whole 'religious" take on homosexuality would be dealt with again here for the gazillionth time, but the acting was done quite well. I really enjoyed Aaron a lot in his scenes.

To be quite honest, I expected this movie to surpass "Brokeback Mountain" as one of my favs. Even if "Brokeback" wasn't so huge and it didn't have such wellknown actors, it has a LOT more depth and substance. "Latter Days" just took two of the most overused movie themes and put them together to make it come off as original. I may have even enjoyed the first half of the story more if Christian was a bit more....Well, if it were easier to determine whether he was a top or bottom. What I mean is, with most gay couples in movies or shows, Marco and Dylan, Ennis and Jack, Brian and Justin, they have these contrasts which helps us to determine their roles as a couple. Christian just seemed like some sleazy tramp. I didn't care for his friend, either. I know she tied into the plot, but overall I found her role to be rather pointless. I think they could have put her to better use somehow. But I did love Aaron. He was cute.

Basically, second half, much better than the first half. Maybe I'll have a different perspective the second time I watch it.

Degrassi reading a success.

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 06:58:26 GMT

Yesterday my group read my Degrassi script out loud for the class. I was really panicking because he were'nt able to meet up all week to practice. But I emailed them and gave detailed notes. Basically the script is a follow up episode to Manny's abortion. We read four scenes. Three with Emma and Manny, and then one with Spinner and Darcy. I actually gave the teacher the tape I recorded "Accidents Will Happen" on so he could be familiar with the storyline. But when we had a little meeting about, he said he loved the script and it looks like so far I have an A!I am so happy because if this script had failed, it could have tainted my love for Degrassi. Because everytime I watch Degrassi I'd be reminded of my horrible script. In highschool I wrote a great play. But when it got performed, it all fell apart. I can't even look at that script anymore. I'm just so relieved everyhting was okay this time. When we were done the reading, the teacher asked the class if anyone had watched the show before, and if the script sounded accurate. They all said yes. Whew! Of course I would know more than anyone!

On another note, I also got the Brokeback Mountain DVD on the weekend. My mom doesn't know about it. Nor will she ever.

Pride Commentary - Best part of the Box Set.

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:08:39 GMT

I bought the Degrassi Season 3 Box Set yesterday(first day it came out in Canada!), and the first thing I did was watch Pride with the commentary with Shane and Adamo and the two writers. Now THIS is what commentary is about, people! It was entertaining, funny, and we still learned a lot of fun and interesting stuff about the episode. Such as what made them laugh so hard at the Dot, and the beach being extremely cold! I think my favorite parts though was during the scenes with Marco and Dylan. Like the scene where Dylan is teaching Marco how to serve. I always knew there was something funny about the way Dylan explained "...toss the ball lightly, and then serve, don't slam, control." But I always just thought it was cheesy. But when they mentioned how they made that reference and I can't believe I never noticed it before! Toss the ball lightly...don't slam, control...That scene is going to be so much hotter now everytime I watch it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally clueless. I knew there was some sort of sex reference there. I just didn't picture it the way I do now. Woah.

I am really nervous about having my Degrassi script performed for my class in two weeks. I only have one girl who has vollunteered so far. The teacher said he'd hook me up with a guy, but I haven't heard back from him yet. It's three scenes, and the characters involved are Emma, Manny, Spinner, and Darcy. I have some bad experiences when my work gets acted out. I hope this doesn't taint Degrassi for me.

First entry in well over a year.

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 02:47:55 GMT

I am posting right now because I am in a very positive mood. See, these past couple of days, since the episode "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" aired, while I've been thrilled about the Darco reunion, all the negativity around me really brought me down. I'm not use to my favorite couple being so bashed. Back when I first started loving them, they were one of the most popular and loved couples on the show. But sicne "Moonlight Desires," people have had a back opinion on them and now refuse to give them a second chance now that they're back together. So, today I feel a lot better after participating in the last day of Darco Spirit Week. And I just finished my second Darco music video. I am very very happy. Marco and Dylan are love forever!

Other than that, what can I say....I'm getting an A in my second year scriptwriting class. I got an A in my first year class as well. I just rock at this subject! Poetry still sucks!

Mall tour!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 03:10:29 GMT

Okay, okay, okay, okay, this was the best day ever!!!!!

First, I got there at about nine o'clock and only a few girls were there sitting at one of the foodcourt tables waiting until they were allowed to line up. When we could, we all went running up to the front, and I was fourth in line! I ended up chatting like crazy with these girls about the show as well as with this boy behind me! Anyways, the line was processing slowly, but time went by fast because we were all too busy talking about the show and things we're gonna have them sign. We also got two of those mini Degrassi highlighters that smell like fruit while we were waiting(I got a pink and a yellow). And as time got closer, we got all jittery and jumpy and excited.

Anyways, when they arrived, I went up to Lauren's table first and gave her that t-shirt to sign as well as a printed out picture of her. Same with Andrea and Stacey, who loved the t-shirt! I took a picture with all of them. Aubrey wasn't at a table yet because he was doing an interview on stage first. So after I got the autographs from the girls, I had to line up all over again to wait for him. I asked him a question(Which he thought was a good one). And I also got interviewed by him for eTalk Daily! So let's see if I'll be there!

So I finally know what EPIgrrl looks like! I bought a t-shirt from her. And I eventually was able to get Aubrey's autograph as well as a hug! I also won a Hell Hath No Fury t-shirt AND the script for Ghost in the Machine after getting a trivia question right. Oh and one girl asked Stacey(While she was at her table) if Sean was a good kisser. She said she doesn't really pay much attention because there are cameras and everything. But then I asked her if Adamo was a good kisser, and she laughed and said yes.

And Andrea, during her interview, sang some of her song SuperWoman while she was up there. And I took as many pictures as possible. Including one of all four of them together. I asked them to pose for me! I'll get the pictures developed tomorrow.

This sucks.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 23:00:46 GMT

Today has been a terrible day. I couldn't even finish my poetry test in English class today because I found it way too complicated. I skipped like half of it and did crappy on the half that I actually did. I'm so miserable and my mom's all mad at me for it. She thinks it's all because I didn't study. Well I'll tell you one thing. You can study and study, but there are just some things that are too complicated that for some people it's just not that easy.

I'm surprised my mom is being so totally cold about it. I still have this big novel research assignment hanging over my head that is making things very overwhelming. There is so much work to do. But there's no point in trying to explain to my mom why I'm having such a hard time because it's not like she would listen. We'll just get in a big fight again. I know my teacher is gonna want to talk about my test tomorrow, which sucks because the last thing I want to do is go over it. I just want to forget about it and this stupid class. It's all a waste of time.

My mom's going to limit my time on the computer because she thinks THAT'S the problem. Why the fuck do I even bother.

Rat attack.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 03:27:00 GMT

My Jack Russel Terrier has potential. The potential to be a ferocious killer. She already had her first victem just a few minutes ago. A rat. When it came out from under out barbeque set, she grabbed it and shook it ferociously in her mouth. I didn't see it myself, but my dad was there. He even said the rat screamed! I don't think I would have been able to watch so I'm glad I didn't see it for myself. But now she's got blood spattered all over her. But that's not what I'm worried about. The rat bit her on the mouth while she was shaking it.

Now she hasn't gotten a rabies shot for about a year. And I don't know if the rat is infected or not. But I seriously hope this won't turn bad. I think we should check her up but my dad doesn't think it's a big deal and just put rubbing alcohol on it. Is rubbing alcohol even safe for dogs?

She's so cute, and yet she can be so fierce. If she gets rabies from that bite I don't know what I'll do.

Poetry sucks.

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 00:37:39 GMT

I HATE studying poetry. This is the worst part of my stupid English course. Why do we need to study all this crap? And Shakespeare's poetry makes no freakin' sense whatsoever! Studying poetry sucks!

My first poetry assignment was already assined. I finished half of it, but the other half is far to complicated and it's frusterating me like crazy and if I stress myself over it too much I may end up doing something I'm trying to quit. It's too much and I'm not doing it. I don't care if I lose twenty marks over it. I'll probably lose even more since I don't even think I did the rest of the assignment right. I just wanna get through this stupid until fast.

On top of all this, I still have to get started on this huge novel research assignemtn and it's really freaking me out. It's all so overwhelming and I hate it. This class sucks. I hate school. I don't know how I ended up going to college.

Looks like it's time to start searching for already made summaries of Oliver Twist. Anybody know any links?

Nineteen.

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 00:33:45 GMT

Today's my birthday. I am exactly one year away from twenty. The legal drinking age here in Canada is nineteen, so my sister and her friends are taking me to a pub. Personalyl, I don't think a pub is really my kind of scene and I'll probably be really shy and quiet. I'm not really into drinking either. So this won't be much of a birthday. But I still appreciate my sister doing this for me. She also promises to take me to the new Harry Potter movie, hopefully this coming Tuesday(Cheap night). It'll be extremely busy, but at least I won't have to go to another annoying youth meeting.

Ready for visitors.

Wed, 26 May 2004 05:50:14 GMT

Well, my site has developed a lot. You can all visit it at:

http://www.geocities.com/wwebsbfan/PsychesMarcoAndDylanSite.html

It's gonna be okay.

Mon, 24 May 2004 22:05:07 GMT

My parents are so understanding. After Saturday(Finding out about my cutting)me and my mom went shopping today for long sleeved shirts that are light for the weather. We found a cool jacket that I could leave open and wear t-shirts underneath. We also got me a cream to help heal the marks and scars on my arm. My mom even has a really nice friend from church who gives therapy.

They're being so nice. They're not making the situation too complicated for me. I'm feeling better now. I was worried that they'd be angry that I'd deliberatly cut myself and make these scars. But they're totally understanding. And now it's like, "Okay, now let's just heal those scars with cream and wear some nice long sleeved shirts."

Disregard my last entry! I LOVE my mom. I LOVE HER! I LOVE HER! I LOVE HER!!!!

I HATE my mom! I HATE HER! I HATE HER! I HATE HER!!!

Mon, 17 May 2004 23:46:43 GMT

Today was in interesting day. I finished my class early as usually. My class officially ends at 3:30 so that's the LATEST I'll come out. And I thought my mom knew that. Anyways, it was ten minutes early. Just as I was about to meet her at the cafeteria, I see her drive off in the van! And when I went in the information lady, who she is friends with, told me that she was waiting for me! I'm ten minutes early and she leaves! Apparently she tried calling my dad to see if he picked me up. Either way, she decie=ded to assume he did. And instead of playing it safe and a LEAST wate until my class officially ends, she leaves! So my dad came home and asked where I was. She was watching her little soap opera so I'll she said was "She not here." So my dad had to drive all the way down there and pick me up. At this point we were both VERY mad at her. My dad had appointments today that apparently he had told my mom about. So when we got home I confronted her about it. She is UNBELIEVABLE! She started coming up with a gazillion excuses to make it look like WE made the mistake. None of her excuses were good enough to excuse what she did. And everytime we tried to tell her she'd scream at us, "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! I DON'T WANNA HERE IT!" She doesn't believe she can ever be wrong and NEVER admitts her mistakes. My dad is pretty mad at her too right now and just told me to ignore her. After all, she busy watching her little soap opera where all those idiot actors ever do is cry(And I never know why because it's in Spanish),I still can't believe what a WITCH she is.

Marco and Dylan website!

Mon, 17 May 2004 18:25:42 GMT

I'm in the process of making my own Marco and Dylan website! It's been great because I'm picking up on what I'm suppose to do really fast. I've got a lot done. Here are the pages so far(Some of them still don't have stuff added yet):

Homepage
Bios
My Favorite Sites
Gallery
Credits
Quotes

I still have a lot to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wed, 12 May 2004 23:19:46 GMT

I'm already annoyed with my Englsih class. And for no big reason either. I just don't like taking English classes that's all. I just feel so annoyed right now!

Lylgrle, you have great screencaps! And no dismissing you, Lyd! You're screencaps of Pride were awesome too!

Nevermind.

Tue, 11 May 2004 23:39:59 GMT

The Exec just posted it's not Kendra. Oh God, that opens the door for Dylan again!

Not coming back.

Tue, 11 May 2004 23:31:56 GMT

Well, now we know that Kendra is not coming back for Degrassi's forth season. Am I the only one who doesn't care? Really, she only showed up in like three episodes last season. But does this mean Toby won't have a girlfriend anymore?

I'm very relieved now! When I first heard someone wasn't coming back I was worried it might be Dylan! I don't know why, I just knew I didn't want it to happen!

Oh and Laura, GREAT Marco screencaps by the way.

Nothing going on.

Sat, 08 May 2004 21:09:41 GMT

The next week will be pretty boring. Nothing much to look forward to accept in eight days CTV will be reruning Pride. But other than that, I know I'll be miserable.

My college class is going okay. We read a very interesting short story that was based on Elvis's life. And then we watched a tape of him performing back in the fifties before he got all hairy and fat. It was concert that was live on TV. He had to sit in a chair the whole time when he sang because his dancing "the pelvis shake" was too innapropriate for TV. It was pretty funny because he everytime he'd get up the crowd will go wild. But he'd have to sit right back down. He looked good. Kinda hot.

So that;s been okay so far. We have to do short stories for another two or three weeks, and then (Ugh!)poetry. I HATE studying poetry. I ignored it as much as possible in highschool. All the different types of poems, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not interested. It's not that I hate poetry in general. I just hate studying it. I don't care.

Well, that's school. Home life? Nothing going on. Nothing. My family's too busy with work and I still can't get a job. I'd love to take a small vacation now, but I have school. I can only hope I'll get the hell out of here for a while in the summer.

Please, please, please let me get out of here!

Not that feeling again.

Fri, 07 May 2004 00:27:30 GMT

I don't think there's anything BIG for me to be sad about. I mean, the computer's okay, I'm doing good at school. But something still makes me sad. I just have this feeling something really bad is gonna happen this year. And that terrifies me because I had the EXACT same feeling when the clock struck twelve on January 1st, 2002. And two and a half months later my sister passed away.

I don't know, I just have this feeling that something is going to go wrong soon. Maybe that's why I'm having trouble being totally happy. Something is bothering me or scaring me. Usually somebody would say not to think about it. But there's nothing to think about. It's just like a gut feeling and I don't know what it is. Nothing is going on in my life right now that's bad. Well, except for the fact that I have no job, my parents don't support me in anything I wanna do, and my social life is down too. But that can't be it because my life has always been like that. Maybe that's it. But it just doesn't feel like it is.

No,I think something's gonna happen. Something bad. This feeling is only too familiar.

I WANT PICTURES!!

Thu, 06 May 2004 17:35:03 GMT

I warn you people, when I keep having trouble with something even after getting a bunch of tips, I get a little frusterated. It just seems so simple. I don't understand why it has to be this hard when I've gotten all this help. I've followed instructions but somehow I'm doing it wrong and I just don't know it. The only way I could get them is if somebody sent me the URLs the way they're suppose to be formatted to me and then I'd just paste them. Otherwise I give up. It's either that or let my head explode.

Still working on it...

Wed, 05 May 2004 18:08:50 GMT

There are still a few things I don't know how to do. Right now I'm interested in having a colorbar to put on my User Info page as well as some other pictures. I have no idea how. I know I probably shouldn't get so worked up about it because people are willing to help me. I just wish everything wasn't always so hard for me.

I've already join a few communities that I've benn dying to join. Thank God I understand how to do THAT.

THANK YOU!

Wed, 05 May 2004 03:04:58 GMT

The icon is perfect! Kelly, you're a genius! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! And Lyddie, you saved me from going crazy!! I had no idea how to do anything. Thank you for the layout. I just feel so much more relaxed now. I thought it would take forever to get it all organized. You guys are the best!

Well, there are several communities that I am dying to join.

My first entry.

Tue, 04 May 2004 22:45:49 GMT

Hey! I just joined Livejournal and I have no flippin' idea where to start. I'm not quite sure how to customize and I'm very confused how this all works. I don't know how to minimize pictures or decorate my journal the way I want it. But hey, if anybody wants to give me helpful advice, I'd appreciate it. And I hope my friends stop by!